We all worry — it’s part of being human. A forgotten password, an unsettled bill, a child’s exam result — our minds race ahead, trying to prepare for what might go wrong. Usually, these thoughts pass; we find a way through, and our focus shifts elsewhere. But sometimes, the worry doesn’t fade. It lingers, looping through our thoughts, leaving us restless, tense, and unable to switch off.
In recent years, the word “anxiety” has become a kind of shorthand for all forms of emotional struggle. There’s much to be grateful for in this openness: it’s encouraged honesty and reduced shame. Yet it’s also blurred the lines between the inevitable difficulties of life and the more consuming experience of clinical anxiety. For young people in particular, it can be hard to know where ordinary worry ends and something deeper begins.
This piece explores how anxiety develops, how it shifts throughout life, and how psychotherapy can help us find steadier ground.
The Nature of Anxiety – Our Mind’s Alarm System
Anxiety is not a defect or a personal failing; it’s our body’s alarm system — a deeply rooted instinct that evolved to keep us safe. It alerts us to danger, prepares us to act, sharpens our awareness. When balanced, it can be helpful. But when that alarm keeps sounding, even when we’re not at risk, it can start to feel unbearable.
In the fast pace of modern life — with its constant notifications, demands, and uncertainties — our nervous systems rarely have the chance to settle. We may find ourselves tense, exhausted, or unable to stop thinking about the “what ifs.”
In psychotherapy, anxiety is often understood as a signal rather than an enemy. It may point to unmet needs, unprocessed experiences, or fears we’ve had to bury to keep functioning. The work of therapy is not to silence anxiety, but to listen to what it might be trying to say.
Different Stages of Life, Different Anxieties
Anxiety takes many forms across a lifetime.
In adolescence, it might stem from pressures around identity, belonging, or academic performance. In early adulthood, it can be tied to uncertainty — about careers, relationships, or the future. Midlife may bring worries about ageing, responsibility, and purpose, while later years can carry anxieties about health, loss, or the passing of time.
Each stage of life offers its own version of vulnerability. And while the content of our fears changes, the emotional undercurrent — that feeling of being unsettled or unsafe — remains recognisable.
Psychotherapy provides a confidential space to explore these experiences with curiosity and compassion. It invites us to ask not just “How do I get rid of my anxiety?” but “What is this anxiety trying to tell me?”
When Worry Becomes Anxiety
Worry is part of being alive; it helps us plan, prepare, and protect ourselves. But when worry becomes relentless, when it dominates our thoughts and intrudes into our sleep or daily functioning, it may have crossed into anxiety.
Some signs this might be happening include:
- Difficulty switching off, even in calm moments
- Persistent restlessness or tension in the body
- Racing thoughts or replaying situations over and over
- Avoiding people or places for fear of feeling anxious
- A general sense of dread, even when nothing is “wrong”
These are not moral failings or signs of weakness — they are the body’s way of asking for attention and care. Recognising this can be the first step toward understanding what’s really going on beneath the surface.
How Psychotherapy Can Help
Psychotherapy offers a space to slow down and notice. Rather than trying to “get rid of” anxiety, therapy invites us to develop a new relationship with it — to see it not as an intruder but as a messenger.
Through therapy, people often:
- Begin to Understand Their Triggers
Together, client and therapist can trace the origins of anxious responses — how past experiences, family patterns, or long-held fears shape how we react in the present.
- Learn to Soothe the Body’s Alarm System
Gentle grounding techniques, mindfulness, and breathwork can help calm the nervous system. Over time, the body learns that it is safe enough to relax.
- Develop a Kinder Inner Voice
Many people speak to themselves harshly when they feel anxious — “pull yourself together,” “don’t be silly,” “you should cope better.” Psychotherapy helps people cultivate self-compassion, which paradoxically often reduces anxiety.
- Find Meaning and Perspective
Sometimes anxiety signals a conflict between how we are living and what we truly value. Therapy can help uncover this gap and guide us toward choices that feel more aligned and fulfilling.
As Mick Cooper often describes, psychotherapy is not about “fixing” people, but about “helping them live more authentically.” When we begin to understand what our anxiety is pointing toward, it can become less of a tormentor and more of a guide.
Small Steps to Support Yourself
There are gentle ways to begin working with anxiety, even before entering therapy:
- Pause and name what you feel. Simply saying “I’m feeling anxious right now” can reduce its power.
- Engage the senses. Notice what you can see, hear, smell, or touch to bring yourself back to the present.
- Move your body. A short walk, a stretch, or deep breathing can shift energy and calm tension.
- Stay connected. Anxiety often thrives in isolation. Speaking with a friend, family member, or therapist can help regulate your emotions.
- Notice patterns. Are there times or situations where anxiety intensifies? Awareness is the beginning of change.
These steps don’t replace psychotherapy, but they can begin to restore a sense of control and safety.
The Value of Therapy in an Anxious World
We live in a time where the pressures of performance, perfectionism, and constant comparison have made anxiety almost universal. Yet within this challenge lies an opportunity — to slow down, to understand ourselves more deeply, and to reconnect with what matters.
Psychotherapy offers that opportunity. It provides a confidential, consistent space where you can reflect, breathe, and make sense of your experiences. Over time, people often find that therapy doesn’t just ease anxiety — it also strengthens self-awareness, resilience, and the ability to live with greater presence.
Anxiety may always visit us from time to time. But with understanding, it can lose its grip, allowing space for curiosity, connection, and calm.